I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
