i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
