i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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