What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Randomize