So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Randomize
