they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
