im drinking this country out of the recession.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Randomize
