I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
