i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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