i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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