Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
