Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
