I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
so explain again why im purple
no
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
