Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
