some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
you never un-have a 4some
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
