My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
