We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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