i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
