Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Randomize
