Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
