Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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