So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
