New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
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