So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
