yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
