Who did Billy Mays play for?
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
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