Apparently you make a good broom.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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