it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
