he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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