so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
