redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
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