I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
