You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
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