doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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