i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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