we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Randomize