i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
