ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
