When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
