spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
