All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
