do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize