dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Randomize
