guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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