New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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