that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I have so many feelings about this burrito
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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