Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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