dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
