For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
then he tried to convert me to islam
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize