Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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