Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
