that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Randomize
