you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Randomize
