This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
