Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
