Me. At least after what I've been through.
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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