Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Randomize
