Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Randomize