There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
