I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
