He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Randomize
