oh god the rape fog is back!
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Randomize
