I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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