well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
