I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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