Whoa Z and x make the same sound
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Randomize
