i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
